Showing Gratitude

I’ll admit it – I’m not always the first to say, “thank you.” I’ll take that back. For some reason, I do not utter that phrase as readily to my closest loved ones as I do to friends, acquaintances or strangers. I don’t really know why this is. Maybe it’s because I’m fiercely independent and tenacious and I think that if I thank someone, then it means admitting I needed help or that it shows a sign of weakness. Maybe it’s because I always expect the people closest to me to be the ones to disappear one day so I try and stay emotionally distant. Maybe it’s something so simple that I’m overthinking it or so messed up that I don’t even want to know. Regardless, I know that I need to stop whatever I have going on right now and show gratitude for my wonderful husband.

Because I rarely ever accept help from anyone for any reason, big or small, I know that my having surgery probably didn’t seem to Blake as if anything in our daily routine would really change. It just so happened that he had already taken the entire week of Spring Break off from work, as we had initially planned on going out of town, so he didn’t do anything special to get ready for my time under the knife.

The day that I had surgery was technically the Friday before Spring Break, so my mom took on the responsibility of getting me to and from the surgery center. Once she left that night and Blake got home from work, it was all up to him. Let’s just say, I’m probably not the best patient to deal with (I’m sure Blake is laughing out loud while reading this) but that’s only because I want to try and do everything for myself. If I really do need help, I don’t let anyone know until I’m beyond frustrated and then I have a tendency to lash out at the person helping me as if they should have known I would need help in the first place.

Throughout this entire week, Blake has been nothing but patient. Of course, he’s picked on me in true Blake fashion and made fun of the funny ways I’ve had to do things with only one fully operating leg, but he’s always quick to have a smile and carry out whatever task I’ve asked of him. In fact, even though I am able to walk with my boot without crutches as of today, I have yet to open or close my own car door. He has driven me everywhere I’ve asked to go, brought me any food or drink from the kitchen that I’ve requested, assisted me in putting on the stupid seal sleeve to keep my leg dry as well as getting me in and out of the bath tub and shower. He took me to several doctor’s appointments, including the last minute trip to the GP for my sinus infection diagnosis and even lifted me onto the scale so I could stand there, on one foot like a flamingo, while the nurse notated my weight. As the icing on the cake, I went a little overboard in my excitement over walking yesterday and it resulted in my foot hurting so badly that it woke me up at 3:30 AM this morning. Without hesitating, Blake filled my ice pack and brought me extra pillows in bed so I could reduce the swelling and get back to sleep. To say he’s been a trooper would be an understatement.

We’ve only been married for just a little under 2.5 years but we’ve been together for almost 8 years. The honeymoon phase is long gone, the daily habits have settled in and made their home in our daily routine and we’re no longer concerned with what each thinks of the other. Sometimes it’s difficult to maintain a spark or romance when life gets so busy but it’s times like all the little times that I can add up from this last week that remind me how lucky I am to have him as my life partner. I am forever grateful that God brought him to me and that he continues to love me every day. I might not always be a walk in the park, but I know that on those days when I walk into a tree, fall over and manage to trip a cyclist on my way down (all the while blaming him for it) he’ll be right there to laugh at me. And then offer me a hand and a kiss on the forehead.

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